Self-esteem is not a vainglorious title that attracts esteem from others. It does not show itself in loud boastful celebrations of the ambitious. Unlike the elite values bought through privileges, relationships, publicity, lies, twists and embezzlements, it is a quiet and personal feeling.

Those who take drugs know this and the drug-addict even more so. They have lost their self-esteem.

Those close to them, their relatives and friends often feel guilty as they realize this. They try to help them see themselves in a better way in by being there, by talking to them, by being kind or listening to them. But most of time if not always nothing changes and the drug user sinks lower and lower. The more he takes drugs the more he cuts himself off from others. If he goes on he will sever his relationship with himself and choose the only exit that will occur to him in his delirium, i.e. to put an end to his life. He will commit suicide.

In responding to the calls of drugs, the drug user has entered the vicious circle of satisfying most of his passions. Used to following his impulses, he does not make the distinction between good and evil, for himself or for others. In losing his honesty, he has also lost steadfastness, goodwill, respect and he has found an inner void. He tries to fill this void by taking drugs, more and more drugs, but always fails to satisfy his need. He only succeeds briefly in forgetting this need through artificial means, he is left more and more empty, more and more lonely. His life has become an everlasting lie. "I was unable to concentrate on anything, I wasn't able to get my homework done", Enzo told me. "I was living in disorder and dirt without seeing it. I didn't respect myself anymore. Nor did I respect others." Having lost the desire, the ability to work, and his morals, his self-respect, he could not find in himself the love to give to others.

Each time a person hurts another, commits some evil, this evil gradually becomes less important and the person ends up not seeing it at all. This is it, the person gets used to it and good and evil no longer mean anything. Love is everywhere in the beauty of creation that surrounds us, in everyone's heart, but if I have lost my self-esteem I cannot see it anymore. Love is in everyone but love is then stifled.

If I lose sight of my self-esteem, it is not because of the way others see me, but because of the evil I have done. It is because I have put lies in the place of truth; sex instead of love; drugs instead of intelligence, steadfastness and goodwill; stealing instead of honesty, that I have become blind. This blindness easily leads to violence and hatred.

To regain one's self-esteem, there is one solution: to put a STOP to one's evil actions and behavior.

1) To stop what is bad: lying about oneself and about others, stealing, beating one's mother, taking drugs, being evil to oneself and to others, etc

2) To do good: telling the truth, not stealing, even small things, loving one's parents, working, not taking drugs, etc

In making a commitment to myself and keeping to it, everything will get in order. I have to decide to change my life and no one can prevent me from doing that now. And above all do not keep dwelling on my bad actions from the past. Let me erase everything and give me the possibility to change. Everyone is capable of this. By the way, who has never needed to do so?

We can all get back to the moral dignity of our acts, to quote Shakespeare:

This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

 

Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 3

Thus respect, patience and joy will come back to me and my heart, full of love, will find its way to others. To carry oneself with self-esteem makes one free and joyful. This is a law of nature: "Self-esteem is found within".

Marie-Christine d'Welles

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